Southern Cross
by CognacGirl-CG
Summary: Sydney/Lennox with remnants of Sydney/Vaughn. Future fic. Set around two years after Phase One. Sydney takes a trip to heal at an old friend’s vacation home.
1. SC 1

Title: Southern Cross 

Author: CG 

Feedback: Please. If criticism, please make it constructive. 

Disclaimer: Alias is owned by ABC, Touchstone, and is the creation of JJ Abrams and Bad Robot Productions. The song lyrics used are all about Crosby, Stills, Nash, and sometimes Young. They can be thanked for the title too. 

Summary: Sydney/Lennox with remnants of Sydney/Vaughn. Future fic. Set around two years after Phase One. Sydney takes a trip alone to heal at an old friend's vacation home. 

Rating: Hard R.

Classification: Mostly Romance with sides of Angst, Drama and just a hint of Smut. 

Distribution: Cover Me, all others please ask. 

***A/N – Okay, so this is me being fluffy. Personally, I think it leans more toward meringue type fluff, not the Cool Whip kind. Big thanks to pie for the beta, and to Jenai for wanting the daily pre-screens and offering feedback. Much appreciated. 

I also had problems with uploading italics, which are flashbacks or dreams so those parts are separated by // for easier distinction. Also some random italic sentences popped out of nowhere. 

Things weren't supposed to be this way. 

Although, that's not entirely true. She _was_ supposed to be in the South Pacific on vacation for three weeks, just not on this particular island and definitely not alone. 

The original plan, devised over a year ago, consisted of an extensive break spent lazing in ninety-degree weather on light sandy beaches, cooling off in the waves of the crystal clear ultramarine ocean, sailing from island to island in a strong attempt to achieve a goal, his goal…

Sydney weakly cleared the constriction in her throat, the pain near powerful. Just the thought of his carefree "life's ambition", as he used to tease, still brought on sadness. She realized that after months of being forced to adapt that her sorrow was steadily waning, but was more aware that it could take many more before her feelings would be anywhere near settled. Knowing that truth, she sighed heavily, in part to relax but mostly to inhale the fresh salt filled air that crept in through the partially opened sunroof of her Toyota Rav4. 

Her research of the area that she ended up deciding on wasn't extensive. It didn't need to be. She knew most of the details of Taveuni Island beforehand. The basics of Fiji–the climate in all seasons, including late January, the basics of Polynesian culture and customs, information on the surrounding amenities, address and thorough directions to the villa where she was staying were all communicated to her through periodic friendly email. All that was left for her to do was change her destination from its original, Tahiti, and arrange transportation.

As her rental hugged the curves of the recently tarred terrain, Sydney pulled a couple of normal sized sheets of paper from her tote bag. Facts relayed to her over the past couple years and playful, sociable conversation were all compiled on a few sheets of paper. After rechecking the last part of the instructions that she had mostly memorized, she made a left hand turn, the last one before reaching her destination. 

Nearly two years ago when she had exchanged email addresses with Jim Lennox, Sydney would have never pictured a friendship developing between them. The first note, received a few weeks after Jim left Los Angeles was a bit uncomfortable, the content short and topics impersonal. That was to be expected. After all, he had experienced a major life transformation when he lost his fiancée, Emma, and Sydney was adapting to her newly developed relationship with Vaughn. But Jim's life was parallel to hers in so many ways; lies, betrayal, death of a lover, the importance of putting all of that aside in order to survive. She had come to consider him a kindred spirit. 

Once the initial awkwardness had faded, and she assumed Jim had started to heal, the emails grew lighter. They started with an update on his four-week respite from the CIA in Fiji, visiting the place where Emma was from just like he had planned, then moved to a few on the job antics, personal jokes or stories, and transpired into the collection of emails that she had in her tote. Included were a few invitations, starting a year back, for her and Michael to stay at his newly purchased second home, the same one that she was nearing. It would have been the perfect getaway for the couple since Jim rarely had the chance to spend time there with his increasingly hectic schedule. 

Before she came to the island, she pictured Fiji as the normal tropical paradise. But when she arrived, the scenery was more breathtaking than she had imagined. She never thought green as a color to admire, but the lush shade that covered the land and fanned from the tall coconut palms was enough to change her mind. It was beautiful. Even the narrow road that was taking her to Jim's place was impressive.

The gravel drive ended at a stunning, fairly large structure. Any pictures that she had seen over the year didn't do his home justice one bit. Built with a natural colored wood, the house consisted of three hexagon-shaped rooms, each with large windows and their own towering roof. From the ground, she also noticed a few skylights in the tiled peaks, surely adding to the natural glow inside. She knew it would be nice, most waterfront houses on the island were, but she wasn't quite prepared for the grandness of it. 

Sydney stepped from her vehicle, gathered her large suitcase and tote, then made her way to the stairs that led to the front porch. Just as Jim had told her the countless times he'd dropped the open invitation for her to stay when he wasn't there, a spare key to the front door was found in the wall of the front flowerbed, under a loose brick. 

Once inside, she couldn't help but be awestruck. It was a simple décor, the same color wood as the exterior lining the walls mixed nicely with the black furniture and tiling scattered throughout the combined living room and kitchen. The scent of wood and a hint of something tropical fluttered about her nose, intoxicating her. It was simple, but positively perfect. 

Wasting no time, Sydney opened her suitcase to retrieve a few essentials. Since she had worn her bikini under her mid thigh black twill shorts and pale pink mesh top, the only items needed were her beach towel, sunscreen, and glasses before she went out the back sliding glass door. 

The early afternoon sun shone brightly, heating the summer day to its full potential. Feeling a little lighter than she had in some time, Sydney almost jogged down the fifty-foot slope of green landscape and tall palms to the exclusive beach Jim had teasingly bragged to her about. 

_The exhibitionist in me thrives off the white sand and crisp surf. Nude has never been so fun._

Sydney smiled as she remembered his line from a past email, even more when she remembered her mischievous reply. 

Personally, being alone with sand and water isn't in my initial thoughts when pondering what would be considered fun in the nude.

And he took the bait, taking the innuendo and running. 

Interesting. Well tell me then, Sydney Bristow, what are some activities that you prefer to do while nude?

That was their comfort level. They had never made any other type of contact besides those emails. Both were busy with their jobs, busy moving on with their lives. Busy trying to keep themselves and those that they cared about the most alive… 

Another pang hit her weighted heart as she spread her large white towel over the fine blanket of sand. A deep breath and quick strip down to her black two piece, and she was on her back, trying to relax. It worked, well into the first hour of bathing on the beach in fact. Her lotion soaked body rejoiced under the hot sun, tingled with the mid-day warmth. After setting her watch for an hour, she slowly drifted into a light state of meditation. 

When she practiced the tool of wakeful rest, thoughts always seemed to flow back to Michael. As they should. Their days together were some of the most tranquil in her late twenties, and gave her all of the calming power she needed. This time it was New Year's Eve, just over a year ago. 

                                                                        //

"I don't know, Michael. Do you think we can get away with it?" Sydney looked into her lover's green eyes, her own filled with wonderment, "Don't you think that the people at work who don't know about us will get suspicious?"

His arms tightened around her small frame, drawing her closer to him as they swayed to the music. "Who cares, Sydney," the softness of his voice sent a pleasurable chill down her spine. "We've been together for almost a year now and those who have a direct affect on our lives, or career really, are more than aware of our relationship. Besides, you and I both could use some time off."

"But a whole month?" He smiled at her question, stopping their movement. "That's more time than I've taken off in the past two years combined."

The shiver in her body returned when he softly cupped her face, his lips inches away from hers. "You deserve this… we do. I'll do anything to make you say yes." A crooked smile spread across his lips, "You can't deny a man his life's ambition, can you?"

She bit her lip as she contemplated his offer. It wasn't that she didn't want to go away to Tahiti with him at the start of next year like he asked. His proposal of a joint vacation was absolutely enticing, but she knew that this sort of commitment would change everything between them. Take them to that next level. After Danny died and the Noah fiasco, she promised herself that if she ever did enter another relationship, she'd take it slow. 

'But this is Michael,' she forced herself to remember the man in front of her, the man that had been her rock since the first day they had met. His green eyes were glowing as he waited for a response from her. 

"Just say yes," he said while gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Sydney…Sydney…"

                                                                        //

"Sydney?"   

It took her a moment before she realized the voice was no longer in her head. At first she thought the breeze was playing a trick on her, whispering her name. That was until she felt a shadow hovering over her body, blocking her direct sunlight. 

The interruption snapped her out of her reverie. Her sunglass covered eyes immediately popped open, but were still unable to make out her intruder. Almost abruptly, she sat up, removing her black shades and directing her attention to the tall figure above her. 

"I didn't mean to startle you." 

She made out his words even though the pounding of her heart was more prevalent in her head. He squatted to near her eye level, resting his elbows on his knees. His movements were slow and non-threatening. It was then that things clicked. His hair was sun soaked, nearly a shade lighter not to mention slightly longer, skin a bit darker than she remembered. His inquisitive eyes were now a bit rougher around the edges, but relaxed when he realized that she was remembering. 

"Jim…" Sydney managed to get out, her voice cracking slightly. She felt a flush rise to her face when he smiled, his perfect pink lips curling upward. "I didn't know that you'd…I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he laughed, lightheartedly. "I told you the place was yours whenever you wanted to use it."

"You didn't respond to the email that I sent informing you that I was coming, so I thought it would be okay." She knew that she sounded flustered, but she couldn't slow the beating of her heart or the heat that her uneasiness brought to her body. 

Jim held his hand out to Sydney, assisting her to stand. "And it is okay. Even if I didn't receive your email."

After brushing a few grains of sand off of her legs, Sydney gave him a once over. He looked well, handsome in his unbuttoned short-sleeved white cotton shirt with the same colored tank underneath, thin khaki pants, and brown leather thong sandals. Remembering her state of undress, Sydney grabbed for her shorts, quickly putting them on. 

Jim watched her intently, "So how long are you staying?"

"I was planning on three weeks, but I can leave before that if you want," she did her best at hiding the tremble in her voice. 

"No, no. Please stay as long as you like." Sydney smiled faintly at him, her nervousness progressively decreasing. "It would be nice to have the company for a change."

Sydney gathered up her things and followed him back up the grassy pathway. "So, when did you arrive?" 

He casually inserted his hands into his pockets as they walked, "A few days ago. I'm here for the next month, a much needed vacation."

"I know the feeling," Sydney replied quietly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glance furtively in her direction before gazing down at the ground in front of him. His action made her heart leap. She hadn't emailed him much about her life within the past six months, but for some reason she sensed that he already knew. 

"So," Jim broke the brief awkward silence. "I wasn't planning on feeding anyone but me, which means the house is somewhat deprived of food. What do you say we take a trip into town and hit the local market?"

_She glanced at him right as he returned his gaze to her, his face soft and very much at ease. "Sure. I'll tag along." Another smile shared between them and they were at the sliding glass door._


	2. SC 2

They traveled into the upscale part of the nearby city. Sydney recognized a few structures and landmarks from the small amount of research that she did, and made a mental note to take the time to visit at least one of them in her stay. As they passed a couple grocery stores and the road became a bit rougher, she began to wonder why Jim hadn't stopped yet.

He must have sensed her question, "There's a large street market up ahead. I've found the best deals and freshest produce come from there." 

"Ah," Sydney nodded her head. 

"Plus the people are a little more welcoming in my opinion," his voice was so carefree, so weightless. Sydney caught a glimpse of a smile that matched his tone. She knew that it had almost been two years since Emma's death, but part of her wondered if he still mourned her deeply and if not, how long it took before most of the pain subsided. 

Feeling the tightness in her chest again, Sydney took a deep breath, returning her gaze out the window. 

The culture in the area marveled her. As they slowly cruised through cobblestone roads, passed countless work trucks full of sugarcane, and people–kids laughing as they played soccerjust off the side of the road, women and men carrying their purchased or ready to vendor goods or some just waiting to hitch a ride on the back of any passing truck–Sydney did her best to soak it all in. The lifestyle in Fiji was so different than any she'd known. So blithe, tranquil, a way of life Jim had obviously adapted well to. On the same note, one that she was hoping would rub off on her for at least the next few weeks. 

Once Jim parked, they both went their separate ways in the large mass of food, people, and many other goods. The only experience she could compare this to were the few swap meets she had attended in her youth. 

Jim had decided to be chef for the night, wanting to surprise her with some of what he called "the islands best recipes", so Sydney stuck mostly to the fruit stands, browsing through some of the most delicious looking pieces she ever remembered seeing. 

"Bula!" a Polynesian woman in her mid-thirties greeted her. She smiled at Sydney, her natural bronzed skin tone bright with cheer. 

Sydney answered back, using the same phrase, the equivalent to hello. She searched through the boxes of produce, carefully choosing some of her favorites, pineapple, papaya, and a couple mangoes. After settling the cost, she moved over to some small handmade jewelry. Bright colored and very detailed, she strung her fingers through a few small beaded necklaces. The splendor of the trinkets was so great that she didn't even sense a presence behind her. 

"Some people can really master that craft."

Only slightly startled, Sydney turned her head sideways to find Jim watching over her shoulder. A smile automatically lit her face, "It's amazing. What I love about this life is that the simplicity of creating beauty is considered work."

Jim smiled back, knowing too well what she meant. He watched her as she placed the necklace that she was holding back down in its box. "Well, I'm finished," he shifted the large bag that he held in his arms. 

Sydney picked up her smaller bag, "Me too, then." 

"It's called Kokoda," Jim announced, obviously amused by the hesitant look on Sydney's face. She had been forking the mixture of chopped fish, onion, tomatoes, and finely diced hot chilies soaked in what she deduced was coconut cream, for nearly a minute now. A lazy grin spread across her face as he continued, "And you're lucky, because I made it yesterday which means the flavor is at its peak."

Sydney met his eyes, noting the warmth and almost viridian hue. She normally wasn't too picky about food, but was still tentative. "I'm not too fond of raw fish…" 

"You'll barely even taste it. The Walu is very mild and the lemon hides a good amount of the fishiness." He looked at her smiling, innocently goading her. 

She couldn't help but quietly giggle, "You might want to get a glass of wine ready for me." 

Laughing almost heartily, Jim poured her a glass of Chardonnay, placing the stem of the glass between his index and middle finger. He cupped the bottom of the glass, holding it out to her, "Anything else?"

With a fake glare, Sydney scooped a forkful of the salad, taking the bite. She knew that he was watching her, waiting for a scrunch of her nose or a covered up gag, but neither came. The mixture almost melted on her tongue, filling her mouth with the perfect combination of spicy, sweet, and tang. 

After swallowing without the aid of wine, Sydney smiled at him again, only mildly embarrassed. "Okay, I concede."

Smiling, Jim took a drink of the wine glass he held for her while reclining in his chair, reveling in his triumph. "Next thing you know I'll have you running nude on the beach."

Sydney laughed, enjoying Jim's false bravado and the comfortable feeling of an old joke amongst friends. "Don't think for one minute Lennox that you'll be watching me do anything nude on your beach."

His eyes widened at her statement, a mischievous grin taking over his features. "Well, well, Bristow. I never said that I'd be watching," he looked her up and down, only halfway serious in his seductive tone, "but just thinking of that visual does encourage me to persuade you that much more."

Almost mortified by her misunderstanding of his statement, Sydney twitched her leg, connecting her sandaled foot to his shin. His smile not fading, Jim started to cut his curry chicken. 

They finished eating as the sun began its final descent, the summer sky taking its time to turn to black. After light conversation, and nearly an entire bottle of Chardonnay, Sydney retreated to the back deck. With one last glass of wine in her hand, she relaxed in a full-length lawn chair watching the astonishing display of yellows and reds, with just a remnant of blue. The soft colors covered the entire sky. It was still warm, lingering around seventy degrees, so her baggy white linen pants and matching spaghetti strap tank were perfect.  

Moments after she closed her eyes, feeling lightheaded from the wine and slightly off from the time zone change, she heard Jim padding across the deck. Hearing him sigh, Sydney did the same. It felt good to forget about the stresses of life for a little while. 

"So you'll have the house to yourself for the next week," Jim stated. 

Opening her eyes, Sydney looked to her left where he was sitting in a similar position on a neighboring chair. "Oh?" 

Staring up at the sky, his eyes growing distant, he cleared his throat. "I had planned to visit Emma's parents in Suva for two weeks, but since I have company I'll likely just stay for one."

"Jim, you don't have to cut your time short with them."

"I know I don't, but I want to."

Sydney smiled, surprisingly touched by his genuine admission. They sat in silence for a few minutes watching the first few stars illuminate. "So you're close with Emma's parents?"

Jim shifted to his side in the chair, facing Sydney, his voice soft as he spoke. "Actually, I hadn't even met them since Emma and I were on assignment throughout our relationship. Only after…" he tried to find a sympathetic term, "everything happened, did I get the chance to meet them. I sought them out in my forced month off."

Her eyelids growing heavy, Sydney nodded. "I'm sure they were happy to meet you."

"They were. And the more I think about it, I was probably happier to meet them." He shifted back to look at the growing number of stars, "I don't know where I would be today without everything they've done."

A few minutes later, Sydney finished the remainder of her wine, and stood. "Well, I can say that I'm extremely happy now, since there won't be anyone bugging me here for the next few days." She started walking into the house. 

Jim watched her, his mouth agape. "Really?"

"Yeah," Sydney sighed, stopping just before entering the house. "I can take that nude jog on the beach much earlier than I had planned." Mouth still open, Jim stared at her, a smile slowly creeping to his face. Before he could retort, Sydney went inside calling out behind her, "Goodnight, Jim."

                                                                        //

"It's too risky," his whisper and furrowing brow showed his high degree of concern. "It's too isolated, and Hassan is a very dangerous man to take on with little help."

Since they were in private, Sydney didn't know whether to verbally attack him for doubting her ability or be flattered over his apprehension. With her arms tightly folded across her chest, she tried to mask the hint of amusement that was surely in her eyes. 

"I'll have you, and Weiss. Just like when I needed to get to Nacor and server forty-seven," self-confidence filled her voice, but a sweet smile lit her face. 

Vaughn looked frustrated, knowing any arguments he put up would be futile. Sydney Bristow would always do as she pleased. Running a stiff hand through his hair, he sighed, "The middle of the Pacific Ocean with the only escape being a plastic life raft…" His words trailed off as a more amused look spread over her face. 

"Parachutes are made of similar material," she teased, watching him force back the smile that turned up the corner of his mouth. 

"I just have this bad feeling about it, Sydney. The information we have is a little sketchy, and for all that we know it's a set-up." 

Sydney stood from her cushion on Michael's couch and moved in front of him. Placing one knee down at a time on the cushion he was sitting on, she straddled his lap. His arms automatically found their home, circling her waist. Placing her hands on either side of his face, Sydney lowered her lips to his, connecting them lightly and oh-so-slowly, her eyes never leaving contact with his.

Much softer than before, Sydney nearly whispered into his mouth as Michael tightened his hold on her waist, "I'll be fine."

                                                                        //

Her eyes darted open and adjusted to the early stages of morning. There was no direct view of the sun, but the sky had a dull grayness to it. The first thing Sydney felt though was the ache of her beating heart. Dreams of Michael had been happening for some time and were becoming more frequent, but really produced nothing more than a dull pain in her chest. Although this particular dream had more of a meaning to her, having been a replay of their last private conversation before she had left for the boat. She could almost still feel his arms around her, holding her hips exactly as they did that night and many, many more before.

Sydney figured out why when she tried to turn to her side and view the alarm clock. Her restlessness had caused the white cotton sheets in the bed to wrap tightly around her waist, holding her in place. After freeing her body, she rolled over, noting that it was only five. Sighing heavily, she returned to her back and stared up at the peaked ceiling. Through the skylight, she could see the stars almost completely fading into the early morning light, and knew soon they would be replaced by another impressive blue sky. It was really the first time she had allowed herself a good look at the night sky, even though it was nearly over, it just didn't feel right without him. 

Besides a day of sun and the sporadic rain shower the summer months brought, Sydney looked forward to Jim's return. She loved being alone, just as she had joked to him before he left, but at the same time craved the company of a friend. 

Over the week she had been productive, well productive for being on vacation. Most of her time was spent either down on the private beach, sunbathing or on the deck of the villa, reading. She took the occasional trip into town for groceries or trinket shopping, and also set aside a day for sightseeing like she had wanted to. But now with nothing more planned, companionship could be the best remedy to an empty plate. 

Feeling sleep approaching again, Sydney rolled back onto her side to find a few more hours of rest. 

It was just after mid-day and she had already melted into the fabric of the lawn chair. She had heard on the radio earlier that today would be the hottest that the area had seen in some time, reaching the mid-nineties. From the few beads of sweat that glistened her bikini-clad body, she could tell the heat outside was rising right on schedule. 

After placing her novel on the nearby table, Sydney reached for her fresh glass of ice water, slowly quenching the torridness in her mouth. Once she had consumed the entire glass of liquid, she reached inside with two fingers to retrieve one of the square cubes. 

Giving herself the chance to savor the contrast of the cold against her hot skin, she rolled the melting ice first over her upper chest, feeling the warming water slither down and soak into the black material covering her breasts. The light breeze chilled the area and gave her much needed relief, so she moved the cube down to her stomach, closing her eyes as the cool water dripped down her sides. 

When her first cube disappeared, Sydney grabbed a second, smaller piece. Instead of wasting this one on her body, she lifted the cube to her mouth, coating her lips with water before sliding the ice between the numbing pair. As the coolness ran down her throat, she moaned, quietly but fully. 

"Never in my life have I wanted to be anything else but a man," Sydney smiled, hearing the familiar husky voice. "That was until I saw what it was like to be an ice cube."

Rolling on her side and opening her eyes, Sydney came face to face with Jim. She laughed at the suggestive look he made while eyeing her lazy form. "An ice cube. A man. They're both relatively simple." When she finished her attempted jab, Jim joined in her laughter. "So how long have you been here?"

"Long enough to become envious of two pieces of ice," he teased, placing his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants. 

Sydney chuckled again, her smile lighting up her tanned face, "No, I meant back on Taveuni." 

"Oh," his equally tanned face brightening with mild embarrassment. "I've been back since around eight this morning, but took some time first to catch dinner."  

Sydney nodded her head, "I see."

"So don't tell me that you've been sitting in that chair since I left, Bristow." Jim took a few steps closer to her. "Tell me you at least made it over to Bouma Falls."

"As a matter of fact," Sydney sat up in her chair, resting her sunglasses on her head. "I did make it to see a few of the recommended tourist spots, but no, didn't make it to Bouma Falls."

Jim smiled, his rugged features softening. "Well then, I guess we have our plan for the rest of the afternoon." 


	3. SC 3

Another sunset with an array of warm colors stretching across the expansive sky, but this one different than the previous seven. The weather was a little warmer, allowing Sydney to stay in her bikini top and loose fitting white cotton pants, but the real difference was that she didn't plan on going inside once the stars completely filled the black sky. She forced herself to face the inevitable, and with company soon to be sitting next to her, she knew that it was time. 

Earlier that afternoon, Jim took Sydney to Bouma Falls as he said that he would. After a fifteen-minute hike through rich green and red vegetation, tall coconut palms, and crowds of people coming and going, they arrived at their destination. 

Once there, Sydney had to stop and catch her breath. Not from the hike, but from the massive sight in front of her. Everything mixed so well together. From the lush, bright colored plants and trees, and the bland gray of the rocks lining the pool, to the large gushing white spray that poured over a sharp edge and crashed against a tall wall of jagged stone. 

They had stayed in the area for close to two hours, both wading in the water, and then wandering off the main trails to explore the hidden beauty. After leaving the falls, they slowly made their way back to the car, encountering many friendly locals on the way. Neither one barely noticed the small crowd though since the conversation between them rarely ever quieted. And soon after, they were back at Jim's place, both doing their part to prepare dinner. 

Nightfall finally came, and Sydney was alone on her designated lawn chair, nursing a glass of Chardonnay. She felt stronger that day, empowered by the perfection of their activities. Even when the stars came out, twinkling in the clear black sky, she didn't feel the need to run from it. Her normal reaction to hide from the fact that the night sky was the source of his dreams was going to end. As much as she dreaded it, she knew that she had to start somewhere. 

Moments after finishing her wine, she heard soft classic rock music coming from inside the villa. Shortly following the start of the mellow tunes, Jim joined her on the deck, his glass, the rest of their bottle of wine, and a medium sized ceramic bowl in his hands. 

Sydney couldn't help but study her newest, but still dear, friend further as he neared the chair next to her. At dinner, she had noticed a few changes in him since the first and last day that she saw him here. First was the growing stubble that covered his chin and lined his upper lip. The near goatee only made him more attractive–rugged and manly. It was a refreshing change from the smooth face their job required male agents to maintain. His casual attire, including rolled up khaki's and bare feet, was equally as pleasant. 

The second was more unnoticeable. Jim had a slight worn look surrounding his eyes, a sign of mild stress. Sydney didn't comment on it of course, she could only hope that whatever was concerning him would resolve itself soon. 

"So that pineapple you chose was perfect," Jim complimented. 

Sydney turned on her side to face him, curling her legs a little. "You doubted my fruit picking skills?" 

Facing straight ahead, Jim slyly eyed her, a smile growing on his face. "Never in a million years." 

Sydney grabbed her empty wine glass, holding it out for him to refill. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until Jim reached into the bowl and grabbed a good sized triangular cut piece of pineapple. Biting the tip off, he slurped a bit too loudly. 

Unable to keep in control, Sydney laughed, the sound originating deep in her gut. Jim joined her, licking a few drops of pineapple juice from his bottom lip in the process. "You alright there?" she asked.

"I told you." Once she had calmed down, Jim took the same piece of fruit and held it near her lips, "Let's see if you can do any better."

Sydney looked into his eyes, still beaming from the situation. Slowly she opened her mouth and took the next bite. Instead of slurping, she allowed the juice to drop, thinking it would land on the floor between them. Her tipsy state made her miscalculate the fall, as the liquid slid down her chin and then fell to the wood below. 

A huge bellow of laughter sprang from both of them, Sydney finding it hard to breathe let alone swallow the pineapple. Before she could, Jim instinctively brought his thumb up to her chin, wiping away the remaining wetness. 

His thumb lingered on her chin, the rest of his fingers touching just underneath, near her throat. As the laughter ceased, they stared at each other, still smiling. Jim moved his thumb to her cheek, lightly caressing it. Neither one of them made the descent, but she sensed the perfection of the timing. Before the situation went too far, Sydney's eyes fluttered shut. The moment changed as soon as she heard the first few bars of a familiar song. The song that she was sure would always remind her of one man.  

Got out of town on a boat goin' to southern islands**.**

"This song," she whispered. 

When Sydney opened her eyes, she could tell the pain that she felt was displayed in them. Jim automatically removed his hand from her face. She reached for her glass of wine, sipping in hopes of swallowing back any tears. 

Jim smiled at her and turned back to viewing the sky for a moment. "You know," his voice sounded just above a whisper, "sailors used to use the Southern Cross to figure out which direction they needed to sail without getting lost." 

Sydney sighed, trying her best to smile and let him know that she was okay. "Yeah," she replied quietly. She closed her eyes again, slowly becoming more comfortable as the song went along. "This was one of Michael's favorite songs."

Jim didn't respond, but then again Sydney didn't really need him to. 

"He planned this trip for us," she continued, her mind elsewhere. "Starting in Tahiti and sailing around the South Pacific with the constellation being our guide. He called it his life's ambition." Sydney lightly laughed at the thought, turning to look at Jim who was still looking skyward. 

"I can't think of one that's better," Jim replied. "You know it's right there." He nodded his head up, gesturing toward the set of stars shaped like a cross. 

For the first time since she had arrived, Sydney allowed herself a look at the constellation that was the guide of Michael's dream. Seeing what used to be a large part of him didn't hurt nearly as bad as she thought it would. The sight of the prominent lights in the starry sky was almost soothing, and she felt the dull pain around her chest that had been there for months loosen some. 

Sydney brought her fingers just below her bottom lip, wiping away a small drop that was missed. Smiling, she met eyes with Jim again. "Thank you."

"Believe me, it was my pleasure."

She brought her glass to her lips and looked back up into the light sprinkled darkness. They stayed outside in the cooling air, just long enough to finish their wine, fruit, and conversation. 

                                                                        //

"When I first saw you, I thought you were an intelligent woman," Hassan seethed through a clenched jaw, inches away from her face. "But, the intelligence I referred to was that of a woman who knew her place."

"You're pathetic," Sydney eyed the large man's form. She hid the nervousness she felt behind a cool front. From his flinch, she knew that her words were surely felt. 

Before she could move, she felt the sting of knuckles crashing against her cheekbone. "Also a woman who knew to speak respectfully and only when told to." Hassan changed his position, stepping back a few feet to a nearby table, grabbing a three-inch dagger. "Now, I'll give you one last chance to tell me what I want to know."

Watching him pick up the knife and trace the flat side of the blade with his index finger, Sydney sighed heavily. She had been on the boat for over an hour now, but had only lost contact with Vaughn and Weiss twenty-minutes back. Twenty-minutes ago she was made, and after a lengthy struggle, bound to an old wooden chair.

She had two options, stall for back up by giving Hassan bits of information to verify or the way she dreaded, going out fighting. Her choice was made for her as she spied a familiar face while inconspicuously looking over Hassan's shoulder. A face that shouldn't be there. Sydney felt her body tense while her face went white, knowing that not enough time had gone by for the standby team to reach the yacht. Michael was here alone. 

Only when Vaughn took two steps forward did Sydney's heart drop. His movement gave her a perfect view of a small man stepping behind him, itching to pounce. With no other option, she planted her feet firmly on the carpeted floor, stood the best that she could, and forced herself back into the wall. Just as she had hoped, the old chair shattered, scattering splinters throughout the room. 

"Michael!" Her scream caused Vaughn to pause, pivot and find the stout man carrying a thick steel bar. Sydney watched breathlessly as the bar connected with Vaughn's temple, knocking him off kilter and throwing the gun from his grip. 

Her arms released from the thin rope that had tied her to the chair, Sydney automatically went for Hassan, battling the large man until he dropped the dagger. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Vaughn trying to deal with the large piece of metal that was being thrown at him, but could tell by the sway in his stance that the first blow was substantial. 

After tussling with Hassan, Sydney finally subdued him with a perfectly placed kick of her steel toe boot to the side of his head. But it was too late. Before she could help Vaughn with the shorter man, she watched her lover stumble backwards out the door that he came in, slamming against the railing. Another blow to the head, and he went over, unconscious. 

Scrambling for the dropped gun, Sydney ran toward the exit, firing at the short man. Hitting him twice in the chest, she pushed past him and dove over the railing of the boat. 

                                                                        //

"Michael!"  

Sydney snapped up in bed, nearly hyperventilating. A few tears streamed down her flushed cheeks, forcing her to open her eyes and adjust to the initially unfamiliar setting. She didn't fully realize that it had been a dream until she felt the comfort of a hand placed on her shoulder. 

"Sydney…"

Just as quickly as she sat up in bed, her head turned to the source of reassurance. She could tell by the troubled look on Jim's face that she appeared as wild and desperate as she felt. 

"Oh my God," Sydney placed her head in her hands, tears flowing freely now. She leaned into Jim's shoulder as he knelt beside her bed. They sat in the same position, with his arms wrapped around her sobbing body, for close to five minutes. 

Finally calmed, Sydney wiped her face, slowly removing it from his shoulder. "Jim, I'm so sorry."

"Sydney," Jim sighed, running his fingers through his tousled hair. "Never be sorry about feeling." 

Calmness started to flow through her when she looked at his soft face, lit by the few streams of moonlight that entered her room. "I must have scared you. I'm sorry about that then."

"Dreamless sleep isn't foolproof, I know that firsthand." Sydney nodded. Still watching the weak light play off of his face, she smiled. Her best effort at reassuring them both that she was fine. "Are you okay?"

Inside she knew that she wasn't. Remembering that day was always like a knife to the gut. The last day that she saw the green of Michael's eyes, the curve of his smile, heard the sound of his voice. But that day usually only replayed while she was awake, sifting through the facts or sitting in a pool of regret, not in her dreams. 

When she didn't answer him, Jim spoke again with deep sincerity. "Move over."

Almost immediately, Sydney forced out words, "I'm fine, really."

"Nope," Jim shook his head. "Too late. A person who takes that long in answering is likely not." Sydney looked at him incredulously. "Come on, Bristow," His tone much lighter now. "I won't make a move on you."

Sydney chuckled, vivid memories of her nightmare slowly dissolving into what it was now, just a dream. Giving him enough room, she moved to the other side of the bed, resting her head on the pillow. He slid into the bed, lying on his side to face her. 

A small playful smile flickered on Jim's face, putting Sydney further at ease. "Well, not unless you want me to that is."

Once she was laughing again, Sydney could see that he had truly relaxed. There was something about Jim Lennox that made her feel close to right again, like the feelings that had controlled her over the past six months weren't permanent. Almost, in a way, like other feelings that were buried deep inside of her weren't dormant. In Los Angeles she had found no relief from her ailments. Everything, everyone reminded her of something painful. 

But in Fiji, there were no knickknacks that brought her to tears. No empty desk at work that sometimes did the same. In Fiji, for the most part, pain took a much-needed break. 

"I think I read somewhere that raw fish can give you nightmares," Sydney joked. 

"So you're going to blame this all on me?"

"Yep." Sydney's eyes fluttered. Sleep starting to find its way back. "You were the one who forced me to try it and therefore like it."

"Fine," Jim laughed. "Then to make it up to you, I'm going to take you to dinner tomorrow night, or tonight, I guess."

_Still smiling, Sydney closed her eyes. "Good. I deserve it."_


	4. SC 4

Her second Friday on the island was much different than her first. Last week, Sydney took her time lazing in bed, staying between the soft sheets until almost noon. Even when she had crawled out of bed a week back, she didn't make it past the back deck of the house. 

This Friday had completely different components from the start. 

When the late morning sun finally reached behind her lids, she felt more comfortable, even more rested than she had in some time. Part of that, she admitted, was due to the strong hand that held hers near her pillow, fingers intertwined. She wasn't aware of when the connection took place, but was oddly at ease with the warmth and security that Jim's hand brought her. And her nightmare in the latest hours of the night was nearly forgotten. 

Since he was still sleeping, Sydney separated their hold and started to the door. Pausing once she reached the foot of the bed, she watched as he slept. The cotton sheets were loosely wrapped around his hips, revealing his firm tanned chest, arms and back. He was so at peace, not just that morning, but also the entire past week, that she couldn't help but marvel at his progress since the night he had found out about Emma. The same night that he warned her about and then showed her the affects a bottle of liquor had on a grieving man. She rarely thought about that kiss. Its source was one of pain, anger, and frustration, feelings that taint something that would normally be amazing. It wasn't worth revisiting. But as she stood watching the tranquility on his face, noticing his tousled sun lightened hair and perfect dark pink lips, she began to wonder what it would be like to try again, to make another connection.   

That thought was forced back by her uncertainty. His lighthearted manner over the time they had spent together the past five days was incredible. All week they had done nothing really, just lounged around the house or went walking on his beach. In turn, her heart felt much lighter with him around, a sensation she wasn't expecting to experience so soon. 

But she had to remember it was the kindness of a friend that he was displaying, nothing more. Well, besides the near kiss over wine and pineapple. That she would chalk up to the heat of a semi-drunken moment. Jim had always been this way; borderline flirty and outgoing, even though their communication had strictly been through email. 

Besides, she was sure not ready to feel romantically about anyone right now. With her history, she wasn't sure that she would ever be again.

The afternoon was just as different, but equally as fine as the morning. Once they both were up, Jim suggested they spend the entire day closer to the city. Sydney agreed, and just after noon they were in a taxi on their way into town. 

Their first stop was Matei, and diving at Rainbow Reef. Being underwater with the only sound being the humming of breathing, the sights of bright reds, yellows, and blues of reef and coral, and the countless barracudas, rays, even turtles, were enough to fascinate the most jaded person. She was a near expert diver, trained as an agent, but never took the time to experience the tropical world beneath the hardness of hers before that day.

She protested mildly when they had to leave, but with their late start on the day, there were only a few hours left until dinner. Sydney suggested another walk through the outdoor market they went to on their first day, since the pending weekend brought out more vendors and people. After spending two hours picking up odds and ends, watching children, teenagers and young adults display their soccer skills, and engaging in conversation with each other and some of the locals, Sydney and Jim reached their evening destination. 

The smell of the nearby ocean faintly tickled her nose. Scents of seafood, curry, pasta, and tropical fruits were more prevalent, but the hint of ocean calmed her senses. She had adapted to the comfort the water brought quite easily. Sitting out on the wooden deck of the Coconut Grove, the structure just feet away from the water, Sydney felt no regrets about her choice of vacation. 

Both finished with their meals, they sat comfortably in near silence, the reddening sky occupying their attentions. A giggle escaped Sydney, for no particular reason. 

"What's so funny?" 

Snapped out of her thoughts, Sydney found Jim looking at her lightly amused. "I have no idea." Her smile deepened, causing them both to laugh. 

Jim finished the remainder of his Chardonnay, his finger lingering on the rim. "Do you trust me?" Sydney looked at him suspiciously; knowing that whatever was coming had a low degree of importance, unlike most questions of trust would bring in her life. 

"Why?"

Jim motioned for their waiter. "Two yaqona," he ordered, smiling impishly at Sydney once the waiter had left. 

"What are you getting me into now?" she rolled her eyes. 

He sat back in his chair, intertwining his fingers behind his head. "I'll tell you this much, it's not raw fish."

"Well good," Sydney replied after finishing the rest of her wine. "That would mean you owing me another dinner."

Minutes after ordering, the waiter came back, placing two coconut cups on the table. Sydney looked at Jim who was still smiling. 

"It's a traditional drink," Jim started.

"It looks like muddy water," Sydney interrupted, laughing. 

"It doesn't taste too different from it either." Sydney stopped laughing, weighing his seriousness. Laughing at her, Jim continued, "Yaqona is known for its anesthetic effect, not its taste."

"Numbness," Sydney swirled the brown liquid in the bilo. "Just what the doctor ordered." She placed the cup back down on the table, looking up at Jim. "You really expect me to drink this?"

His bout of laughter letting up slightly, Jim sighed, "Come on, Sydney. You chug it like beer and then forget about the taste moments after. I swear." 

Without another thought, Sydney cupped the bilo in her hands, brought it to her lips and threw her head back, along with the liquid. 

Wide-eyed, Jim responded by doing the same. "Now that's how the pros do it." 

An hour and a cab ride later, they arrived back at the villa. Sydney's body was in an enlightened state, tingling from head to toe. Once they made it inside the house, she sauntered to the breakfast bar, grabbing the nearest chair. 

"My face is still numb," Sydney giggled, the sensation of the yaqona still numbing her body and mind. Jim walked to the stereo, turning on some light music. She brought her fingers up to her face, "My lips… and I still have that dirty 'yesterday's tea' taste in my mouth."  

Jim approached her slowly, his lids slightly heavy from the liquor and yaqona. Holding out his hand, he asked Sydney to dance. "That is if your feet aren't affected."

"Hmph," she scoffed, placing her hand in his. "I'll have you know that my coordination works perfectly, sober or not."

After helping her stand, Jim wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her to him as he did. "Show me what you've got, Bristow."

His soft voice shot down her ear, vibrating throughout her sensitive body. She closed her eyes and draped her free arm over his shoulder, while leaning her head against his collarbone. Unable to find the strength, she gave him control of the dance. They were barely swaying to the quiet music, both lost in each other's embrace. 

A smile broadened over Sydney's face as she thought back to earlier that day while they were diving. The playful way that he stayed within her sight, happily showing her his discoveries. The way he displayed interest when she talked about anything remotely boring at dinner. Laughing his way out to the taxi with her when all she wanted to do was drink more yaqona. 

It was perfect. He was perfect. 

"You know some say that most of the effects of yaqona are all manufactured by the person who drinks it," Jim whispered in her ear. "So the numbing of your lips could be all in your head."

Giving little thought to her actions, Sydney lifted her head from his shoulder, meeting his eyes. "If that's the case," she placed her hand on his cheek, "then I have no excuse for this."

Jim licked his lips as Sydney brought hers closer. Gently, she connected with him, pressing their numb mouths together. When they touched, her eyes automatically lazed. Behind closed lids, her heightened mind flashed pictures of beauty, ranging from the reds of the sunset to the blues of the deep ocean. Slowly she strengthened their hold, leaving a few short kisses on his soft pair. 

Before things moved any further, Sydney ended the kiss. Gradually, she inched her face away from his, her eyes opening as she did. Seeing the mild look of shock on Jim's face, she was automatically embarrassed. 

"Jim… Oh… I'm so sorry," her words stuttered out between jagged breaths. 

She didn't have a chance to let the anxiety that she felt take over. Just as she tried to atone for her actions further, Jim placed his hands on either side of her face and brought her to him again. This time their bond was stronger, lips immediately moving almost roughly. When he slanted his mouth, wanting entry, Sydney willingly gave it to him. Her arms found their way to the back of his head, and pulled him in closer. Making featherlike movements against the other's, their tongues were twisting, sliding, and searching. 

Sydney could feel her slowed heartbeat quicken with each stroke, waves of ecstasy roving through her body. As she lightly clamped her teeth over his bottom lip, then softly moved back to kissing him, Jim stopped. 

The look of surprise was still on his face as Sydney opened her eyes, and she instantly felt her heart drop. 

"I… I shouldn't have," Jim stammered, unexplainable emotions darkening his eyes. Running a stiff hand through his hair, he turned around and walked toward his room. Stunned by not only his, but also her actions, Sydney brought her hand to her lips–not so numb anymore–and took a deep, calming breath. 

"Oh God," she cursed aloud. Disappointed in herself, Sydney walked to her own room, retiring for the night. 

She was too unnerved to worry about dreamless sleep that night, but the effects of her earlier drinking helped her through. Her dreams were almost epic, filled with visions of swimming freely with the life in the aquamarine ocean. She was free, calm, loved. 

When Sydney woke the next morning to the light of the day, she felt almost the opposite. Not because of the yaqona wearing off, but because of the sudden pang of guilt that coursed through her. She overstepped a boundary, kissing Jim like she had. He had been so considerate of her situation, treating her as well as a friend could, and she might have thrown a kink in it all, just to fulfill a silly need she had to feel his lips against hers.  

Quietly and overly cautious, Sydney rose from bed, padding into the kitchen. Seeing that his bedroom door was open, she figured he'd be up and about. When she meandered around the place a little, she noticed that he was nowhere to be seen. Even though his car was still there, she had a feeling that he was gone.

Back in the kitchen, Sydney fixed her morning cup of coffee. Things seemed quiet, too quiet really. The silence gave her an opportunity to reflect on last night and what she would say to him when he came around, but it also concerned her slightly. 

The first days of February were always mild, even back in Los Angeles, but later that day as she lay on her lawn chair, the ninety-degree heat began to take its toll. Her body felt weak, her stomach filled with a growing ball of anxiety. At first she thought from dehydration, but deep down she knew that wasn't it. 

By eight o'clock, her concern had built up to the point that she didn't know what to do. She didn't expect Jim to check with her before making any plans of course, but after what she did last night she just needed to make sure everything was straight between them. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel awkward around her in her last days here. A small part of her also wanted to gauge his reaction to their encounter. 

After spending most of the day apprehensive about her impulse, Sydney began her nightly rituals before heading off to bed. As she glanced at a nearby calendar, something suddenly struck her. 

Two years.

Two years ago her life had changed forever when SD-6 was taken down. Just after that landmark day, Jim's life was changed forever when Emma was killed. Two years ago today. 

And she had kissed him. The day that he would spend remembering the woman he had loved, and she made the mistake of kissing him. Even though he did kiss her back, she chided herself for being so inconsiderate. He surely wouldn't have if she hadn't initiated anything. 

Needing to rectify the situation somehow, apologize for her actions, Sydney didn't go to her bed that night when she felt tired. Instead, she went to the living room couch, covered herself with the thin afghan and slowly drifted off. 

In the middle of the night, her senses tingled, hearing a quiet commotion in the room. Startled, she sat up in the darkness, seeing a shadow leaning against the breakfast bar. 

"Jim?" She stood and started to walk over.

She heard him sigh loudly, before acknowledging her, "Mmmhmm."

As she drew near, she could smell the distinct scent of strong liquor emanating from him. Sydney stopped within a foot of the bar. "Are you okay?"

His face was hidden by shadows, but she could see him turn his head in her direction. "Mmmhmm."

Swaying slightly, Jim readjusted his grip on the counter. Sydney wrapped her arm around his waist, offering him some help, "Come on. I'll help get you to your room." 

Jim lazily threw his arm around Sydney's shoulder, using her for balance as they walked to his bed. She could feel him breathing heavily in her ear, and knew he was in pretty bad shape. Once they reached his bed, she sat him down. When she let go, he situated his head on the nearest pillow while pulling his feet up on the mattress. 

Sydney removed his shoes and outer shirt, and then covered him with a light blanket she found nearby. Before leaving the room, she hesitated to watch him, appearing to have drifted off already. 

As she turned to leave, she felt him grab her wrist. "Don't go." His voice was weak, barely audible. She looked down at him, seeing his glassy eyes barely opened. "Please."

Returning the favor he paid to her the other night, Sydney went to the other side of the bed, stretching out next to him. He rolled over to face her, finding her hand in the darkness. 

"I'm sorry, Sydney," he whispered. 

_Smiling lightly, she took her free hand and moved a few hairs that were stuck to his sweaty forehead. "Shh," she soothed, her hand lingering on his cheek. "Don't be. Just sleep."_


	5. SC 5

It took her a minute to realize where she was when she woke the next morning. In that minute, she figured the dead weight thrown over her hip was Jim's arm and the warmth against her backside was his body. Sometime in the night she had spooned up against him. Physically she was comfortable in his embrace, but emotionally she was mortified. 

After she had lost Michael, Sydney swore that she wouldn't get attached to another person, especially one in her same line of work. There was only so much heartache that she could take, and with the losses of Danny, Noah, and Michael, she didn't think she could handle any more pain. Even after six months she still felt that was best. But waking up in Jim's arms and listening to him as he slept, Sydney began to feel herself opening up again. A feeling she knew needed to be stopped before someone was eventually hurt. 

Before he could wake, Sydney carefully moved away from his grip, and climbed out of bed. His tan face was a little paler than she'd seen, signs of an upcoming hangover, and she could see a pained look on his face, maybe leftover from his day of mourning. A day she surely had made that much more complex. 

Doing what she could to help, Sydney went to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee. While she waited, she cut some fresh fruit and made toast. Nibbling on pineapple, she didn't notice Jim walk in the room. 

"Hey," his voice was still groggy. 

She looked up from the cutting board to find him at the breakfast bar. A weak smile automatically lit her face at his disheveled appearance. Sydney brought him a glass of ice water, a mug of coffee, and a few pieces of fruit. 

"This should help a little."

Smiling graciously, he took a large drink of water. "Thank you." 

As she finished cutting the fruit, she could feel his stare piercing through her from behind. She knew that she should say something, apologize for her actions at least, but she wasn't sure how to broach the subject. 

"Sydney," Jim sighed. "Look…"

Knowing he was about to express regret over his provoked behavior, Sydney interrupted him. "Jim, don't." She turned around, speaking kindly, "I'm the one who should apologize. I don't know if it was my light head or just the perfection of the moment, but what I did was completely thoughtless. If I hadn't been so selfish and remembered what this time meant to you, I wouldn't have acted so brashly." Sydney leaned against the breakfast bar, facing him. "You've been so incredible to me over the past week and I overstepped our friendship."

He scratched the hair just above the nape of his neck, "Sydney, I…"

"Please Jim. None of this is your fault. I already feel horrible about it, and I don't want you to regret letting me stay here. Can you just please accept my apology?"

Hesitating slightly, Jim weighed her words. "Of course, Sydney." 

"Thank you." Her smile deepening, Sydney grabbed a piece of fruit from his bowl and shoved it in her mouth. 

The beginning of her last week on the island was quite similar to her first, the only exception being the company of Jim. Their interaction the first few days was only a tad bit strained, mostly a few awkward moments that should be expected after a kiss. But by Thursday, two days before she was due to leave, the initial light banter between them had returned. 

Earlier in the week, the radio had reported a mild depression nearing the islands. The strongest part of the storm scheduled to hit that night. Taking advantage of the calm weather that remained, Sydney relaxed down on the beach, after taking time to wade in the roughing surf. 

It started to grow chillier earlier than usual, and right before she was readying to pack up and head back in, she heard Jim walk up next to her. 

"I was hoping to catch you in one last jaunt around the beach," he teased. 

Sydney smiled up at him, noticing the playful smirk on his face. "Ah, the wind picked up so I had to put the bikini back on."

Jim squatted next to her, picking up a small twig and cracking it in his hands. "They say we've got only a few hours left," he looked out at the gradually swelling waves and a set of dark clouds in the distance. 

"I was just about to head back," she stood, gathering her things. Jim took her tote bag and she followed him back to the villa. 

"At least this one is relatively small. Many cyclones have passed through here, causing major destruction."

"None as bad as the one named Bristow, I bet," Sydney elbowed him, laughing when he flinched. 

Jim threw his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "Nope. At least none on record."

Darkness fell quicker than any of the previous nights, dark clouds hiding the expansive star lit sky. The wind picked up just as fast, and she watched as the tall palm trees swayed back and forth. Her vantage point was perfect, sitting on a blanket, the sliding glass door her only protector from the storm. 

Leaning back, supported by her hands, she felt a slight sting on her shoulders and upper back. The pain reminded her that in her rush to take advantage of the last bit of sun, she had forgotten to apply sunscreen. 

After draining the last bit of wine in her glass, she felt the blanket shift under her as Jim sat down beside her. "It's getting pretty bad out there," he commented. 

Watching stray parts of foliage being whipped around by the strong winds, Sydney agreed. "Although the ferocity looks oddly peaceful from in here." She sat up fully, bringing one hand to her reddened shoulder. As she removed the pressure from her arm, she watched the white imprint slowly transform to its former dark shade.

Jim glanced at her, watching the same thing. "That looks pretty bad too," he stood, "I think I have some aloe around here somewhere." Before she could protest, he was in the bathroom. 

Sydney straightened out her short, light mauve wrap around skirt. Crossing her legs at her ankles, she sat back again, only to feel Jim move up behind her, sitting Indian style. "There's this part on your mid back that you won't be able to reach," he squeezed a moderate amount of gel in his palm. "I'll get that, and the rest is all yours."

She laughed as he rubbed the gel between his hands, "Any excuse to get your hands on me."

"It's completely innocent, I swear." She could hear the smile in his tone. 

Her body twitched as he began to spread the cool gel on her hot skin. The contrast caused her to gasp. Tilting her head down, she enjoyed the sensation of his strong hands working over her skin. After spreading the coolant over the stretch of her upper back, she felt his hands move up to her shoulders, sliding the thin straps of her tank top down her shoulders. 

As he massaged the top of her shoulders and then closer to the curve of her neck, Sydney moaned, a sound she couldn't keep inside. The feelings that swam through her body were slightly alarming, but felt too good to make any objection. Soon after, she felt the tickle of his breath near her ear.

"Sydney?" his voice was raspy, heated from feeling.

Her eyes barely opening, she turned her attention to him and found his face in close proximity. "Hmm?" Their eyes locked for a moment before Jim looked down to her lips. Cautiously, he inched closer to her, waiting for her to protest. When she didn't he slid his hand behind her neck, bringing her lips to his. 

Heat rushed her cooled skin as his lips brushed against hers. She felt the warmth of his tongue move over her lips, lining the pair. Giving him access to her, Sydney tilted her head, instinctively welcoming something deeper. 

As their search of each other grew stronger, Jim slid down next to her on the blanket, wrapping his arm around her waist. With their bodies now touching, and their kiss heating her system, Sydney began to feel doubt itching her subconscious. 

Flashes of her past, Danny, Noah, and Michael, ran behind her closed lids, causing a sharp pain in her chest. Placing her hands on his shoulders, Sydney abruptly forced herself away from him.  

"Jim, I can't."

Coming out of his daze, Jim ran a regretful hand through his hair. He watched as Sydney hurriedly stood. "It's too soon. I guess after the other night… I just assumed you wanted this as much as I do." He sat up, resting his head in his hand. "I'm such an ass."

"No. It's not you…it's just… I can't subject myself to any more heartache. I don't even want to feel the pain I already do." 

Sydney walked to the kitchen, stopping at the sound of his voice. "Who said anything about heartache? I don't know what this is between us, but I can assure you it's not heartache."

"But it will end that way. Being around me it will happen eventually." She wrung her hands as his face softened. 

"Sydney, that's unfair…"

Her voice rose slightly as she interrupted him, "No. What's unfair is watching three people that you love die at your own hands."

Jim stepped closer to her, "Now that's absurd. That would be like me saying Emma died at my hands. Which, if you think about it, is much closer to the truth than your situation."

Sydney watched the pain on Jim's face as he made his comparison. Immediately, a rush of regret came over her. He had experienced a loss, just like she had, but hers was different. Or were different considering there were more than one. 

Choosing her words wisely, Sydney spoke. "When Danny and Noah died, it was like…bam! I had to deal with it. But with Michael…" her voice caught in her throat with the memory. "He was in a coma for five months. Do you know what it's like having to confront something you felt responsible for that long?"

"No, I don't," his voice was soft, understanding. 

"It's indescribable. But odds are if you knew, you would consider the option of not feeling too." Sydney turned to leave the room again, but Jim reached her before she could. 

"So, you're going to blame yourself for a decision that he made out of love for you?" She turned to face him, eyes fixed on the floor. 

"Shouldn't I?" her voice was weak, her body beginning to tremble. "Look what love does. It kills. And I don't want to feel it or anything resembling it anymore."

Jim took another step toward her and lowered his head to try and catch her gaze. "Sydney, the night that I was told about Emma, you said that no matter how hard it is, you'd rather feel it than to not feel anything. How can you stand there and completely forget about those words?" He touched her forearm, causing her to look up at him. "Good or bad, you have to feel."

With tears forming in her eyes, Sydney moved away from him. "No I don't." 


	6. SC 6

She could feel the warmth of the night wind on her bare skin, of the soft sand under her bare feet, and his arm as it was tightly wrapped around her lower back. She knew that she'd never forget his scent, a perfect mix of soap and cologne, and smiled as the familiarity played with her senses. 

The sky was clear, lights perfectly scattered throughout the darkened sky. With her head on his shoulder and her gaze fixed up at the proof of night, she allowed a heavy sigh to leave her body. 

"It's beautiful," she whispered. He pulled her closer, his head resting against hers. "Too bad it has to end."

She heard the light music in the background slowly start to drift away. He gently stroked the back of her hair with his free hand, "It's about time. You can't hold onto me forever, Sydney."

Lifting her head off his shoulder, Sydney looked into his beautiful green eyes, "I know." He smiled at her, as she returned her head to his shoulder. 

                                                                        //

She slowly woke from her dream, her body completely calm. Looking up through the skylight in her room, she could see the moon peeking out through the massive dark clouds straight overhead. She heard some remnants of the storm, mostly wind blowing through the trees, causing some to scratch against her window. It wasn't the worst storm that she'd been though, not by any means. 

A small smile formed on her face as she remembered the last moments of her dream. 

In Vaughn's last days at the hospital, she'd had the chance to say her goodbyes, but never had it felt right. He lay motionless in that bed for months, his only support being a group of machines, and everyday she had expected him to either wake up or leave her forever. When the latter finally came, no matter how many times she had said it aloud, she realized it was never final. Until now. All it took was one look, real or not, into his warm eyes to remind her that she needed to start moving on, needed and wanted to find some sort of normalcy again. 

Feeling stronger and more resolved than she had in months, Sydney climbed out of bed, and made her way down the hallway. As she entered his room, her stomach clenched with nervousness, heating her entire body. 

Jim was laying flat on his stomach, his arm hanging over the edge of the bed. She could hear the same sounds of foliage whipping against the windows of his room. As she approached his bed, she saw him stir, eyes immediately focusing on her in the darkness. 

"Sydney?" He rolled onto his side, sounding concerned and slightly confused. 

Still nervous, she knelt before him, her fingers reaching to entwine with his in hopes of ceasing the small tremors. "I don't want to be this way." Her voice was easily heard over the storm outside, even though she was whispering. "You were right. I want to feel. I need to." She used her unoccupied hand to move a chunk of hair that was stuck to his forehead, before descending to kiss him. 

Jim brought his free hand up to cup the side of her face when her lips made the connection. Hooking her second hand with his, Sydney took their joined fingers from her face and pushed their hands back to his pillow. Using all of her weight, she climbed on top of him, her shaky body lining up perfectly with his. 

With the sheet being their only barrier besides her thin cotton tank top, she could feel the thumping of his heart against her breast. The beating escalated as the kiss intensified, and she knew that hers was increasing at exactly the same pace. The fervor between them grew quickly as their tongues roamed each other's mouth, needing to find the closeness they had begun to feel earlier that night. To Sydney, it felt incredible to let go, to start opening up and feel something again. By that time, her nervousness had all but washed away. 

Needing to breathe, the closest thing Sydney could do was moan as Jim softly bit her lower lip then lined the area with his tongue. Their lips then firmly twisted again, tongues dancing wildly within as the storm outside did close to the same to the landscape. 

With one swift motion, Jim clamped his fingers tighter on hers, and gently bucked his hips to turn her over. Once she was on her back, he pulled away from the kiss, admiring her for a moment in the darkness. Following his short pause, he returned to kissing her, moving the attention from her lips to her jaw.

After tracing a line up her jaw, his lips traveled lower, finding the sensitive spot behind her ear. He continued planting kisses across the side of her neck, her throat, and then up to her other ear, until Sydney felt the beginning of her nerves awakening all throughout her heightening body. All she could do was moan and gasp as he roamed what was exposed of her upper chest, using a perfect mix of lips, tongue, and teeth. 

Once he had covered all of the areas that he could access, Jim removed one of his hands from her grip, reaching for the seam of her white tank. Sydney did the same with her free arm, swiftly pulling the restriction over her head. He lowered his chest flat against hers, their warm skin melding as one. Before he returned to her body, Jim kissed her full lips again. 

Entwining their fingers on both hands once more, he moved his face up to her right wrist. Starting with a kiss on her pressure point, he then smoothed his tongue down the inside of her forearm, to the nook of her elbow, and kissed her shoulder once he reached it. At first, Sydney planted a few small kisses on his upper chest, but then could only bite her lip as he continued his venture, doing the same to her other arm. She could feel the heat that was generated from his touch coursing through her body. 

His exploration of her arms complete, Jim removed his hands from her grip, moving his body down to gain easier access to her stomach. Initially, he softly rubbed his hands over her tanned skin, but his lips soon followed, kissing and biting in no particular pattern. Guiding the way, his fingers slid up over her ribs, rolled over her soft breasts, and then up to her shoulders again. His lips still followed the same path, but paused when his tongue decided to circle her taut nipple. Another moan flew from her mouth, feeling the wet warmth turn cool on the sensitive area. God she had missed this, missed being touched so thoroughly.

As he kissed the curve of her breasts, he whispered into her skin, "Do you feel now? Can you see why it's so important?"

Only able to nod, Sydney gasped when Jim captured her lips again, this time much more harshly. Her hands still free, she entangled them both in his hair, pulling his lips as far into her as she could. Their mouths moved desperately, tongues did the same, and their teeth occasionally clashed together in their quest. 

Jim's body twitched as her hands steadily moved down his bare back, ending at the elastic of his boxers. Needing to feel more, Sydney hooked her thumbs into his only article of clothing and began sliding it down. He slowed their kiss as he felt her movement, his breath jaggedly releasing once he recognized what she wanted from him. 

Slowly he opened his eyes, taking his lips off of hers. There was a gleam in her eyes, but it wasn't one of uncertainty. Nonetheless, he still felt the need to ask. 

"Are you sure?"

Again she could only nod her readiness, her voice lost deep within a myriad of emotions and sensations. Sitting back on his heels, Jim carefully pulled down her white shorts, discarding them on the floor. Sydney looked up at him, her eyes dark with desire. She watched as the muscles on his tight chest twitched while his hand ran up her thigh, over her hip, and then curved the indentation of her waist.

Sinking down onto her again, Jim entangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her face up to meet his. His tongue moved lazily over her lips, watching her reaction to the nearness of his naked body. Her eyes stayed locked with his as his knee separated her legs just enough for him to fit in between. Planting one more kiss, Jim gradually slid himself inside of her.

Outside his window, a tree could be heard thrashing loudly against the house, but this time the sound was unnoticed by them both. The intake of breath as their bodies became one, filled both of their ears. 

Once they made the necessary adjustments to each other and Jim started moving in her, Sydney reached behind his head again, her mouth now craving the chance to explore him. Her lips found his chin, and the small goatee he had grown in his stay, first. From there she secured his lower lip between her teeth, biting hard enough to barely break the skin.  

The warm feeling that was steadily building between her thighs interrupted her exploration of him. Her breath became raspy against his skin, almost panting as he slid himself in her. When her eyes rolled into the back of her head, she blindly found his neck, sucking and licking the area up to his ear, and then repeating once she reached his lobe. 

He moaned in her ear as her tongue lined his lobe, giving away a slight shudder as she nipped at it. "Sydney."

Her heart skipped as she heard the way her name rolled so smoothly off of his tongue. The sound of his voice and the sensation mustering in her stomach each time Jim entered her fully ignited her entire body. She felt now. There was no denying the wonderful havoc he was wreaking in her. Biting her lip again, she allowed the lone tear in her eye, one she could only explain as happiness, to fall down her cheek. 

Sydney knew that she was nearing her release. Every time Jim's chest grazed her hard nipples her need to became more apparent. When his shoulders hunched slightly, and he buried his head into her collarbone, kissing it lightly, she knew he was also close to his. 

She resumed her mouth's wandering over his neck and upper chest as Jim slid his finger down to where they were joined, finding the point of her desire. She screamed against his neck as he circled it, sending shockwaves to her fingertips and toes. Wrapping her legs around his hips, Sydney moaned and cried at the dual sensation. Soon after, she tightened her hold near his waist, screaming his name as the rush of feeling traveled fiercely through her. 

Hearing his name breathlessly torn from her lips, Jim continued in her. Just as her body tensed a second time, he released, groaning and panting near her ear. His body collapsed on her when he was done, sweat steadily accumulating between their heated bodies.

Once his breathing neared normal, Jim went back to kissing her neck, each stroke of his lips sending a flash of heat to her core. Sydney joined in a few minutes later and their probing of each other continued through the storm, into the early hours of the morning. 

Her last full day on the island proved to be the best out of her entire stay. Like the rest, Sydney took her time getting out of bed, as did Jim. Their mutual passion for only wanting to stay between the sheets, playing, laughing, and touching, used up most of the late morning hours. She enjoyed their closeness, thrived in the easy feeling that encompassed her heavy heart. 

Even when they did tear themselves away from the comfort of his room, the furthest away they made it was down to the beach. No storm to be seen, they used the seclusion of the area to their full advantage. The sight of her naked on his beach didn't escape his sense of humor, and he made sure she knew that. 

Nightfall came again, as inevitable as tomorrow would be, and they had yet to leave each other's side. Knowing this was her last night in Fiji, Jim made it a night of food, drink, dancing, and more gentle lovemaking. Both of them continuing to get acquainted with the others needs. 

Early the next morning, Sydney had a hard time leaving, but after exchanging numbers and reassurances of future encounters, she was off, driving her Rav4 back to the airport. 

On the plane ride home, she had time to reflect on her vacation. Most of the pain she had initially come to the island with was overshadowed by two of the most beautiful nights she'd had in some time. But still there–although in a much lighter, freer sense–was the memory of Michael Vaughn. 

From that day on she could look back at her handler, friend, and lover seeing more of the good that had transpired between them over the years, rather than feel responsible for him making his final decision out of love. And even though she didn't admit it before, that was the underlying goal of her vacation. 

When she finally arrived at her house, Sydney welcomed the familiar abode with open arms. She was alone, but in a sense she wasn't anymore. And when she unpacked her suitcase, she was reminded of just that. 

Inside the main compartment, she found a thin brown paper bag with her name scribed on the front. She smiled, knowing the only person who could have placed it there. Carefully removing the bag, she opened the creased top and peeked inside. Smiling even more, she turned it upside down, dispensing a bright colored beaded necklace. A perfectly sized beaded cross hanging from the end. 

She couldn't help but wonder when he'd had the chance to pick it up without her knowing. The only times she remembered him going to town without her were when he went to visit Emma's parents and the anniversary of her death. Stringing the necklace between her fingers, Sydney picked up her phone and dialed the number she had already committed to memory. 

Her heart skipped when she heard the familiar voice greet her on the other end of the line. "It's beautiful," she spoke just above a whisper. 

She could hear him smiling through the phone, "I was just thinking about you."

"Just?" She added a false sadness to her voice, as she lay down on her bed. "So that means you had stopped?"

"No." He laughed, but his tone was coated with sincerity. "Never."


End file.
